Prose

When I was taking my masters in Bocconi University last year, I found out, in one of the leadership classes, that my MBTI typology is the exact opposite of what usually thrives and succeeds in the (Western) corporate world. Leadership positions are often held by Extraverted, Thinking, and Judging types, with ESTJ (“the executive”) being common among CEOs (crowncounseling.com, researchgate.net) and being among the most frequent types in management and leadership positions (themyersbriggs.com).

I am, according to this system, however, an INFP (also known as “the healer,” and is the polar opposite of ESTJ). INFPs are typically described as idealistic, empathic, and values-driven, focusing on meaning and authenticity (simplypsychology.com). I am more inclined to be an introvert, who hates small talk and loses energy during too much interaction with others (interestingly, my professor mentioned that it’s a misconception that introverts have low energy; on the contrary, they actually have high innate energy, which they try to protect); I prefer to take in information through my intuition as opposed to just my five senses; I prefer to make decisions guided by feelings rather than pure logic; and I am naturally perceiving, meaning I prefer to be spontaneous and adaptable as opposed to judging, planned, and structured. For those who know and are interested in Human Design, I am basically a Projector 2/4 (“the hermit”) in a Generator/Manifesting Generator environment.

This doesn’t mean that I default to these modes all the time at my job. On the contrary, I have to step into the opposite of my natural tendencies more often than not. I have been in the corporate world for close to two decades, leading the research and analytics department of my company for more than five years now. The function and role themselves require a solid foundation of data, logic, structure, planning, and collaboration. What this means is that it takes more energy for me and people like me in the corporate world to operate outside of our default settings. It’s not impossible. It just means we need to put in more effort and also spend more time to recharge mentally and emotionally.

That’s the downside. But where’s the beauty, what’s the magic?

I had a mentor once. He was an incredible leader who was loved by the people who were fortunate enough to come under his leadership. We probably had only two sessions or so, because, eventually, he became my manager. But this one insight he shared with me stuck forever and became one of the foundations of my radical self-acceptance. The very first thing I asked him was how to be more assertive, given that it was my first time to be part of a regional board, where I was also the youngest (on top of being a woman and a non-confrontational Filipina at that). He saw in me what I didn’t at that time and he told me, “you don’t have to change who you are. You have your own way of doing and saying things that is, yes, probably softer or gentler or more polite, but it works. You can say no in your own way and that’s fine.” And it hit me—I don’t have to think that my personality is a liability and that I need to change to succeed. And this eventually became something that I advise people as I became a mentor myself.

I believe that round pegs in square holes have secret superpowers they can tap into when the need arises—the ability to intuit insights when the data is not conclusive, the ability to draw on a creative imagination and connect the dots, the ability to tell a story that doesn’t just make sense but moves its audience, the ability to instantly read the energy of the room (for example, who’s getting upset and why, and what he/she needs to be reassured), the ability to know what your team members truly need and desire, the ability to coach or correct them but in a way that they know you’re on their side and are rooting for them, the ability to set impossibly high standards but to get everyone to want to achieve them too, the ability to step in and out of colleagues’ shoes and see their perspectives, the ease to which agility and flexibility comes (which is usually super important) as business needs change, the ability to deeply listen, the ability to hold space for other introverts who may not necessarily speak up freely all the time, the ability to care for the other’s feelings and therefore be able to contradict or say no in a way that does not offend them, etc. I can go on. It’s a sort of quiet, calm, softer, more feminine leadership.

So if you’re “different” like me, don’t fret. There’s room for you and you can blossom too (of course it 100% helps if you’re in a role and company that fits). But embrace who you are. Know what is required of you and, sure, practice that (saying no, speaking up, being more assertive, etc.) until it becomes easy, like with muscle memory (it also helps that I have an assertive German husband and I plan and practice with him before difficult and important conversations). But tap into your superpowers. Don’t think of them as liabilities but as secret weapons.

#myersbriggs #mbti #infp #leadership #corporateleadership #leadershipstyles #feminineleadersip #softleadership